Dudes these Days

Posted: September 26, 2012 in Gentlemanly Affairs

Can you imagine a time where people lived together in close-knit communities. Where everyone knew everyone else’s name, and in more cases than not, their business as well?

Those were the times, I tell ya. Okay, well not exactly. But I mean, when people actually engaged other people in conversation, or at the very least, made eye contact with a friendly passer-by.

I made eye contact with this guy the other day… he grilled me and said, “What the fuck you lookin’ at. Well, he didn’t SAY it, say it. Not orally anyway. His eyes said it. And I just gave homie a curt nod like, “Good day to you too, Sir” and went about my business.

You know, I just find that too many guys these days are too concerned with being the baddest motherfucker in the vicinity. Everything is a testosterone-fueled dick-measuring contest with these dudes and I just can’t stand for it. Enough is enough. I’m putting my figurative foot down. These guys need to lighten up. You’re not a bad-ass. You’re a menace to society and if you continue in this manner, my friend (not really though), the future isn’t looking too bright.

Pictured above: John Cena, looking particularly like a douche.

What’s up with the whole mentality anyway?

I blame Ya Boy (thank goodness he ain’t my boy). This little known, one-hit wonder is responsible for the rap song about getting money and fucking bitches, titled “Get Money, Fuck Bitches” (that’s the chorus too… tell Beethoven to move over, we have a new musical prodigy on hand). Okay, I don’t actually blame him; most rappers were saying the same for years, just a little less blatantly. I don’t blame rap music, or hip hop. I don’t even blame the Jersey Shore. It’s no one’s fault. Change starts with you. I’m sure you’ve all heard that one a million times, so cliché right? Yes, but also true. If you want the change, then be the change. Here’s my go at it.

Romans 12:2 ―Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Now I’m not even sure exactly what this is saying here (that’s the bible for you… I’m kidding… sort of), but this quote seemed strangely appropriate. I’m not a Christian; I’m just a guy that knows how to use Google. But you don’t have to be some sort of bible-thumper to know those are words of wisdom.

Pictured above: The dream?

In truth, the root of all evil in these potential gentlemen is the lure of sex. Let’s face it; unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know we live in a sex-crazed society. Sex is everywhere. It’s the billboards on the way home. It’s the TV commercials and magazine ads. It’s the used condom on the playground of your local elementary school (I did actually see that and I sincerely hope it was not used by an elementary kid… otherwise someone needs to write a letter home to said child’s parents). It’s EVERYWHERE, I tell you.

But YOU already know that. So now, you have all these dudes… who want sex. And they’re doing what they see on the discovery channel. They are trying to set themselves apart from the pack as an alpha male to attract a potential mate. Or multiple potential mates, more often than not. Only problem is, acting like the alpha doesn’t make you the alpha. And ladies, please, stop encouraging the douche bags and wannabe-thugs.

If Darwin taught me anything, it’s survival of the fittest and uh.. let’s encourage the extinction of these lesser strains of human in our society. Let em die off and that’ll be the end of that.

On an closing note, I would just like to remind the young adults and old teenagers: Good Sirs, SWAG is for BOYS. CLASS is for MEN. Get on it.

Anyway, that’s enough ranting for one morning. Carry on, as you were. Nothing more to see here.

P.S. Thanks for reading, feel free to comment, and come visit again soon!

  1. AJ says:

    I support your plight.

  2. Ashley says:

    I feel like you’re the dude from the movie ‘what women want’
    You said it all, and then some. (Y)

  3. Booradley says:

    Man that was awesome. Enjoyed every bit and completely agree with you 100%. Those guys need to gtfo. Keep it up mang.

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